


What Washes Up

by camichats



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Merpeople, Alternate Universe - No Magic, Falling In Love, First Kiss, First Time, Getting Together, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-02
Updated: 2016-12-02
Packaged: 2018-09-07 23:28:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8820598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/camichats/pseuds/camichats
Summary: James feels stuck in life when suddenly he has a beached merperson in his life that he finds himself falling for.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> James is pretty ooc cause i think without Sirius in his teenage years he'd behave VERY differently.
> 
> (reposting from when this work was deleted)

James was walking down the beach barefoot, but he kept his eyes on the sand, blurrily watching it for jagged objects. It was the Potters’ private beach (just his for the past few years as the only member of the Potter family alive but he couldn’t help but think of it as his parent’s), so he wasn’t worried about litter, but some shells could be just as sharp as glass. 

He felt… strange, he supposed, but mostly annoyed at how lunch had gone. He and Lily had broken up a year ago, and today was the first time he’d seen her with a romantic partner. It was surreal to see her and Marlene together, doing couple things, but the part that annoyed him had little to do with their budding relationship. 

No, his problem with how lunch had gone was because Lily and Marlene were hinting for him and Peter to get together, making jokes about how they were on a double date. It was undoubtedly the single most uncomfortable experience in James’s entire life (and that includes the time he walked into Slughorn’s office for detention and saw him getting off to porn and the door locked behind him). Peter was aromantic as fuck all, and James had no idea why their two friends had gotten it into their heads that he wanted anyone, especially his best friend. Peter claimed this was what all couples did to their friends, especially when the people dating were friends beforehand, citing James’s attempts to set Pete up before he knew he was aro. 

James sighed, kicking some sand, then paused, spotting movement further up the beach from the corner of his eye. Unfortunately, he’d taken off his glasses before coming down here and couldn’t see for shit what it was he was attempting to look at. It was just a blob. A blob that was… moving. 

He hurried towards it even though logically he knew that he should’ve done the opposite. Or at least approached cautiously seeing as he wouldn’t be able to see what it was until he was on top of it, but, as Wormtail would’ve pointed out, they were not the cautious sort. The closer he got, the more like a human it looked as opposed to, say, a giant crab that could have killed him for being careless.  _ Not that giant crabs exist _ , he told himself, not fully believing it even as he thought it. (His professors at Hogwarts had always claimed he had an overactive imagination.) 

As James got even closer, he realised it was a person. A very bruised and naked person, who was currently coughing so violently James thought it a miracle their lungs were functioning at all. 

He automatically knelt beside them, and, after a moment’s hesitation, put a hand high on their back, just below their black hair, the skin feeling inhumanly soft under his palm. “Are you okay?” James asked worriedly, automatically chastising himself because  _ obviously _ they weren’t okay. 

They responded with a choked off laugh, seemingly agreeing with James’s inner monologue. Although maybe they were just trying to answer but couldn’t because of the state of their throat. That theory was proven incorrect a few moments later when they spoke, a soothing deep voice saying, “I can think of few times I felt worse than this, mate.” 

James flushed and he tried to convince himself it was just from embarrassment. “I couldn’t think of anything else to say,” he said defensively. “Do you need a doctor?” 

They shook their head, coughing a few more times before looking up at him. James felt his breath catch as he saw their face, penetrating grey eyes surrounded by features any model would envy. His hand twitched with the need to reach out and touch those features, memorize them before he lost the opportunity. “Don’t think so.” They shifted around a bit and grimaced. “A few bruises, nothing that hasn’t happened before.” They looked around seeming surprised by where they were. 

“Er, something wrong?”  _ Beyond the obvious? _ Namely, having nearly drowned and describing several bruises larger than James’s hands like they didn’t matter or hurt. 

They didn’t answer, falling back on their bottom, legs kicking out in front of them, completely unconcerned at their lack of clothing. What James saw before pointedly averting his eyes showed that they had no reason to be embarrassed. 

“What were you doing swimming alone when you were injured?”  _ And naked, _ he added silently. He decided for his own peace of mind that he wouldn’t focus on their state of dress anymore than he had to-- which wasn’t at all he knew realistically. 

“Didn’t have much a choice at the time,” they responded absently. They poked one of their legs with a slender finger. “Wow. I can’t believe you guys get around on these things.” 

James’s brow furrowed in confusion. “What?” 

They looked up at him with a grin. “What’s your name?” 

“I- er, James. Potter. Nice to meet you,” James said, wanting to kick himself for adding the last part and god was it even necessary to tell an absolute stranger his last name? It’s not like they would need it for anything. 

Their grin got somehow wider. “Nice to meet you too, James. I’m Sirius, first born son to the worst merpeople in the entire ocean.” He paused then said, “I assume, I mean, I’ve not been many places, but I trust that they’re in the Top Ten Worst, at the very least.” 

James swayed back slightly, mouth gaping open. He closed it with a click and narrowed his eyes suspiciously. “Merpeople,” he said flatly. This seemed like an awful lot to go through just to have someone on. 

Sirius nodded, face guileless as he looked back at his legs and wiggled is toes. “You have no idea how weird this feels.” 

“I really don’t.” James pinched Sirius’s chin between his fingers and forced his face back towards James so he could check his pupils. Nothing, they were normal. So not wasted or high, and no concussion which was something of a miracle judging by the bruises on the rest of him. James let go with a confused frown, but Sirius didn’t go back to looking at his legs like James thought he might. No, he was studying James as much as James was studying him. James cleared his throat awkwardly, breaking eye contact. “Come on, my house is just over there,” he pointed the direction from which he’d come. “We’ll get you cleaned up, some clothes, food if you’re peckish, and… deal with…” James didn’t even know what he’d be dealing with and trailed off, never bothering to finish his sentence. 

James stood, waiting for Sirius to do likewise, but he couldn’t seem to find his balance enough to actually make it to a standing position. James grasped his arms and helped him find his feet, wobbly though it was, and he most certainly did not think about how good it felt to hold him. “I’m not sure I can walk very fast,” Sirius said, giving him an apologetic look. 

“That’s alright,” he said automatically. “Er, do you think you can stand on your own for a second?” 

Sirius made a face. “I guess we’ll see.” 

Slowly, James let go, letting Sirius put more pressure on his legs. When he didn’t immediately fall on his arse, James called it a victory. Stepping back, he shed his shorts, glad he’d worn his swimming trunks underneath them for his walk. He really needed to cover Sirius up before a completely different problem arose. “Here.” He held them out to Sirius, who looked at them curiously, then at James’s clothes. 

“You’re… wearing things.” He took the shorts from James tentatively, like a child who wasn’t certain of the purpose of an item their parents had handed them. “You want me to put this on?” 

James nodded, trying his best to sound even. “If you would.” 

Sirius looked at the shorts, and James’s, at his legs, then at James’s face. “Erm.” 

James was helpless to stop the laugh that bubbled out of him in that moment, not because Sirius didn’t know how to put on clothes, but because he looked so sheepish and adorable that he reminded James of a puppy. He took the shorts back from Sirius and knelt in front of him, keeping his eyes trained on Sirius’s feet. “Put your hands on my shoulders for balance,” he instructed. Sirius did so. “Now lift a leg."

“Which one?” 

James realised that his skepticism over Sirius’s story had been short lived. He truly believed this was a person that had never lived in any world like the one James had known and god if that didn’t make him question his own sobriety. “Either, it doesn’t matter.” 

It took another minute, but they had successfully put the shorts on Sirius, and it felt like another victory. 

The trip back to James’s house was less so. Sirius’s feet were tender, his legs completely unaccustomed to dealing with his weight, and the motion of walking itself was new to him. By the time they made it to the front door, Sirius’s legs were shaking and he looked pale. 

“Here,” James helped Sirius to a bench before bothering to close the door behind them. James grabbed his glasses from the side table and shoved them on, then knelt down and picked up one of Sirius’s feet, making both of them wince. “Shit that’s bad,” he muttered. “Why didn’t you say anything?” 

Sirius ignored the question and gave a weak smile. “And here I thought I’d be the prettiest person you ever saw.” 

James raised an eyebrow and smirked. “Who said you aren’t?” 

He chuckled, then hissed and reflexively jerked his foot away when James prodded it. 

James kept a firm grip on it though, and looked at him apologetically. “I need to see where it hurts the most. Here?” He lightly pushed on the bottom of Sirius’s heel for a second, then moved his fingers up. “What about here?” 

“Better,” Sirius said through gritted teeth. 

“But still shite,” James surmised, gently placing his foot down. He took a quick look at the other one to make sure he hadn’t stepped on anything that was making this worse. “We’re going to have to clean your feet. It’s…” 

“Going to hurt like a bitch,” Sirius finished for him. 

“Yeah.” 

Sirius made a face and braced himself. 

“Woah woah woah,” James interrupted, placing a hand on Sirius’s chest and forcing him to remain sitting. “We don’t need you hurting yourself any further, and I think you’re more likely to fall over than you are to make it to the tub.” 

Sirius rolled his eyes. “That’s great James I’ll just live right here in your entryway.” 

James rolled his eyes too. “No you prat, I’m going to carry you there.” Which he would’ve done when they were outside, had he known there was a problem. 

Sirius blinked. “Oh. Er, you don’t have to do that, I can make it by myself.” 

_ Of bloody course you can but you could also be a terrible person, that doesn’t mean you  _ are. “I don’t mind,” is what he said instead. “Besides, I’m not going to sit idly by and watch you hurt yourself even more.” When Sirius didn’t reply, James added, “If you prefer, I can drive you to the hospital. I don’t have any training really, and they could take care of you.” 

“No!” Sirius said, panicked and now gripping onto James for all he was worth. “Please let me stay here.” 

“O...kay.” After a small pause, “Why are you so afraid of them? You weren’t scared of me.” 

Sirius looked away. “They’d want to know where I was from, why I am this way, and then they’d exploit me.” 

James wanted to tell him he was wrong, that people were better than that, but it would’ve been a lie. Some people were better than whatever money they could make from his discovery, but a hospital would be a sure way to expose him. Not sure what to say to that, James went back to the reason why he’d brought up hospitals. “I can’t let your feet get infected, Sirius. We need to clean them  _ now _ .” 

Looking a little green around the edges, Sirius nodded and wrapped his arms around James’s neck when he was lifted. “Thank you,” he whispered. 

James knew he meant more than carrying him right then, and that Sirius wasn’t totally naive. He must’ve known that if someone else had found him, they wouldn’t have treated him like a human being. “I just didn’t want you to get blood on the carpet,” James teased. “So what did you do in your free time down there? Seems very open, free.” 

“You believe me?” Sirius sounded hopeful. 

“Well… yeah. I can’t think of anything to explain your being here, and your feet… It just makes sense to me.” James made a face. “Everyone tells me my imagination is a little out there.” 

“Works for me,” Sirius said happily, beaming. “I mostly just explored, wishing I could leave.” 

“Why didn’t you? Before now, I mean.” 

“Because I was a coward.” James startled, not expecting that answer, and Sirius smiled ruefully at him. “I didn’t want to leave my brother, or my friend either I guess, but Regulus is happy where he is, and Moony would’ve gone with me.” James raised an eyebrow questioningly. “Regulus is my little brother.” Sirius sighed, “Not so little anymore. Following the path our parents laid out like a good little fishy. Moony’s my best friend, well,” he amended, “only friend, but even if I had other friends he’d be the best, I think.” 

“And his name is… Moony? Sirius are you secretly best friends with your pet?” 

Sirius laughed, a full belly, bark-like laugh that made something warm coil in James’s belly. “Remus. His real name is Remus. He’s from a higher level of the ocean than me, but we met in passing one night and ended up in the same school for classes. It was the full moon at the time, his name’s Remus… Moony was just the natural progression of what I called him, I couldn’t resist.” 

James nodded in agreement. He wouldn’t have done any differently in Sirius’s place, Wormtail being the evidence of that. “Did he issue a nickname for you on similar terms?” That’s what had happened with Pete and James. 

“Padfoot,” Sirius said in way of an answer. “Because of the star. I’ve never met a dog before, but Moony has. He said I was just like one, but he also said it has hair all over it, so I don’t know what he meant by that.” 

“It’s called fur,” James said with a smile. “He was probably referring to your personality, all bright excitement. I have a dog back home actually.” 

Sirius frowned slightly, looking around at the house in confusion. “I thought this was your home.” 

“Beach house. My family is rich, old money and such, so I have several properties. I’m just here for the summer.” 

“Lucky for me,” Sirius said, once again beaming. 

James couldn’t help but return the expression, but it turned into a grimace when he realised they’d reached their destination. Taking a grounding breath, he stepped into the tiled room. “Ready?” 

“Do I have a choice?” Sirius asked skeptically, eyebrows raised. 

“Not really,” James admitted. “I don’t fancy the idea of surprising you with this though.” He set Sirius down on the edge of the tub, helping him ease his feet into it. He turned away to rifle through the medicine cabinet. “So what did you and Moony do together?” 

“Talked, fucked around, made life difficult for our teachers. The usual.” 

James could hear the grin in his voice. “You said before that he would’ve left with you. Why isn’t he here?” 

“I’m just seeing what it’s like here.” 

James froze for a moment before he mentally shook himself and continued preparing. “So you’re going back?” Hands full with what he thought he’d need, James turned back to him. 

“Mmhmm.” 

“Oh. This is holiday for you then?” James couldn’t keep all the disappointment from his voice, but Sirius didn’t seem to notice

“Yep. Though I admit I never imagined this would happen,” he said with distaste, gesturing to his feet. 

“Would you have stayed away if you knew?” James knew that there wasn’t actually anything between them except wishful thinking on his part, but he had to ask. He wanted Sirius to smile and joke that of course not, because then he wouldn’t have met James. 

Sirius looked at James, an unidentifiable emotion in his eyes as he replied, “Yet to be determined.” 

James didn’t look away, letting himself be caught up in the infinity Sirius seemed to bring with him. He was a merperson, he was funny, and he was gorgeous. If he thought Sirius could reject him without fear of what would become of the rest of his time on land, he would’ve kissed him, just to see if he tasted as good as he made James feel. James  _ wanted _ in their shared silence, but he didn’t act, he couldn’t. 

_ Coward _ . 

No, he argued with himself, it wasn’t cowardly to consider Sirius’s position in this. James couldn’t put him in a position to possibly fear for his life if he rejected James’s advances. He wouldn’t. 

_ But, _ he added, turning on the tap and and running a washcloth under it,  _ if Sirius says something first, it’s okay. I won’t put him on the spot. _ With that final thought, they started the painful process of cleaning Sirius’s feet.


	2. Chapter 2

James realised that it could be considered a high maintenance job to look after a newly transformed merperson. Not only did Sirius not recognise most items or their function, but he had to learn how to eat while on land, and his skin was sensitive, uncalloused, and altogether not tough enough for everyday living as a human adult. 

To save his feet and legs, James found the wheelchair his grandfather had used and taught Sirius how to use it, then gathered all the softest clothing he could find in the house-- Sirius still had a rash the next day. 

Sirius was incredibly upbeat about everything, not seeming bothered in the slightest about what his body was going through. None of it bothered James either, but he couldn’t come to terms with Sirius’s history of eating being confined to slime. Well not actually slime, as Sirius had corrected him, but all the foods he ate in the ocean were distinctly slimy. 

In an effort to change this, James was attempting to teach him about fruits and vegetables, but they were hitting something of a block as Sirius was more interested in the differences between all of them than actually eating anything. 

“Why is this skin edible,” Sirius asked, holding an apple in one hand and a banana in the other, “and this one isn’t?” 

“Banana skins are… thicker. It’s the same with oranges, it has a thick skin, so you peel it first. Grapes and apples have thin skins, so you can eat them as they are.” 

“Nobody peels them?” Sirius asked, looking intrigued as he set down the banana in exchange for a bunch of grapes. 

“Some people do,” James admitted, “but they’re usually rich prats who do it just to show that they have the money for it.” 

“Like you?” Sirius teased. 

James rolled his eyes. “I’ll have you know that not once have I eaten a peeled grape.” 

“First time for everything!” Sirius plucked a grape from the bunch and examined it. James watched him silently, a smile on his face. After a minute, Sirius looked up at him. “I don’t know how to peel this.” 

“Do you know how to peel any of these?” 

“Well, no, but I’m not trying to peel one of those, I’m trying to peel this.” He stuck the grape up in the air and glared at it as if by sheer force of will it was preventing him from discovering how to peel it. “I don’t suppose  _ you  _ know how to peel this,” he said, lowering the offending grape slowly. When James shook his head, Sirius dropped his arm on the table with a thud. “Well then what good are you. James, do you know what this grape represented for you? A journey into a new life!” Sirius answered without giving him the chance. 

“How’s that?” James asked, amused. 

“This isn’t something I can do all the way for you Jamie, you have to figure some of it out for yourself!” 

James gave him an appraising look. “You have no idea what you’re saying, do you?” 

“Of course I don’t.” Sirius grinned at him unapologetically, making James laugh. 

“It’s just as well,” James said after a minute of watching Sirius pick through the fruits and smell them, “you won’t be here very long, so I guess you don’t really need to learn all about this stuff.” He hated the reminder that his time with Sirius would be short, but he felt that if he ignored it, it would hurt more when he had to leave. 

Sirius hummed in agreement. “I’m fine with what I’ve been eating.” 

James wrinkled his nose. “You’ve been eating bloody  _ sludge _ is what you’ve been eating.” He shook his head. “It’s a disgrace.” 

“Literally?” 

“No not literally. But I mean come on Sirius, your meals consist of oysters and applesauce, and the two do  _ not _ go together. At this rate you’ll die of malnutrition before you can make it back to the ocean.” 

Sirius laughed, the bark in it making the now-familiar warm feeling coil in his stomach. “I don’t think malnutrition works that quickly mate.” 

“It’s still your health we’re talking about here,” James pouted. In the end, if it made Sirius happy he’d go along with it, but he felt like Sirius would miss so much no matter how many movies they watched or stories James told. “I don’t want to prove anyone back in the ocean that humans are terrible, terrible creatures who will starve you.” 

“Nobody will think that. Look at me! I’m fine.” 

“Better than fine,” James mumbled, thinking that Sirius couldn’t hear him. With a put-upon sigh, he turned to face him and saw him smirking, and it was then that he realised that perhaps he’d spoken a bit too loudly. He started to flush, but didn’t look away. Hell, Sirius was a merperson who was on dry land for a vacation, James could fancy him all he wanted. Like any other summer romance, it’s not like it could lead anywhere even if they started something. 

“I doubt anyone back home would agree with that sentiment.” 

“What you’re not gorgeous underwater?” 

Sirius laughed, shaking his head. “It wouldn’t help my case to my family if I was a literal god of beauty unless I was more powerful than them.” 

“They sound like assholes.” It was hardly new information, but it remained true. 

“They are, rather.” 

They were silent for a while after that, James offering Sirius some of the fruits and putting the rejected ones in the fridge. 

“Why do you even want to go back?” James asked, apropos of nothing. “I mean, you told me about Remus, but he said he’d come up here with you, it’s not like you’d be leaving anything behind.” 

Sirius was unusually somber following James’s statement, and James felt a stab of guilt for his selfishness. Reminding Sirius that he had a grand total of one person who cared about him from where he’d lived his entire life wasn’t going to make anything better. “You’re right. I don’t have much to leave behind. It’s still everything I know though. I can’t even name all the fruits you showed me, how am I supposed to live up here?” He looked at his legs sadly. “I can’t even walk.” 

“You can’t name all the fruits because they’re foreign to you, but you’d learn. As for walking… well where do you think I got a wheelchair? There are plenty of humans who don’t have full mobility of their legs.” 

Sirius gave him a half smile. “And everything else? You told me about your job, I don’t know how to do that, or anything else up here. What am I supposed to do for work?” 

James hesitated. “You wouldn’t have to if you stayed. I have plenty of money; enough that if you and Remus stayed up here none of us would have to work for our entire lives. I… I’m not trying to pressure you Sirius, I just want to let you know that, well, the option’s there.” 

Sirius gave him a discerning look that made James feel exposed. “Why would you do that for me?” The question could’ve been leading, but Sirius just seemed curious. “You barely know me.” 

“No, I just haven’t known you for very long,” he replied with a grin. “Our two days together have been very enlightening.” 

Sirius smiled back. “Still. Why?” 

James tried to maintain his expression, but he felt it slipping and he let it fall. “Honestly?” Sirius nodded, and he looked so goddamn earnest that James told him everything: Hogwarts with Pete, chasing Lily, their fiasco of a relationship, the subsequent breakup, feeling numb, and how Sirius made him feel alive. Sirius listened patiently through his ramblings, a comforting hand on his arm though he didn’t know when it got there. “And it’s not like I’m trying to use you or something I think you could genuinely be happy here, and yeah okay maybe it’s pretty selfish, but I don’t think I’d want to live in the ocean if you hate it there so it’s not like we could switch.” 

When James finally wound down, he chanced a glance at Sirius, but he was smiling. “Thank you for the offer.” He kissed the tip of James’s nose. “I’ll think about it.”


	3. Chapter 3

James was taken completely by surprise when the next morning, over breakfast, Sirius leaned forward and kissed him. It took him a second to respond, but when he did, he threaded his fingers through Sirius’s hair. Sirius leaned into him and parted his lips tentatively, like he wasn’t quite sure what to do. James took control and licked into his mouth, tasting the oranges he’d been eating moments before. 

“Um. Was that okay?” James asked even though Sirius had initiated it and given no indication that he wanted to stop. 

Sirius nodded, a large grin on his face. “Definitely. It’s not like  _ I _ know what I’m doing here.” They finished eating and then Sirius begged to watch Sleeping Beauty. James made a token protest, but it had his favourite music of any Disney movie and he ended up humming along, which Sirius teased him for. 

James wasn’t quite sure what specific events that day led to him on his knees between Sirius’s spread legs, mouth working him over as he was flushed and breathless above him, but he wasn’t complaining. They’d continued on with their usual: movie watching, discussing food, comparing the day-to-day details of living. It had a different tone to it though, more flirtatious than they normally were. James guessed it didn’t really matter what exactly pushed them to kissing and what made Sirius ask for more since the whole day had been build-up. Not that James was thinking about it at the time, too caught up in trying to memorize the way Sirius sounded, the way he felt under James’s hands, the way his skin had tasted before James rolled a condom on him with a muttered explanation of protection and went down. 

Sirius tensed and cried out, and James kept going until he whimpered and tugged gently on James’s hair. James pulled the condom off of him and tied it, throwing it towards the rubbish bin carelessly. 

James pushed his pants down and took himself in hand, not even getting to start when Sirius stilled him with a hand on his arm. He knocked James’s hand away and replaced it with his own. He paused, and then chuckled, breathless. “I don’t know what to do.” 

“Just, uhm- here.” He put his hand over Sirius’s and guided him through the motions. After it was clear Sirius knew how it went, James let go, gripping his forearm instead and thrusting into his fist. 

It took a minute for James to wobble to his feet and grab a wet washcloth for them after that. James glanced at Sirius’s face, smiling softly. “You okay?” 

He appeared thoughtful, as if dissecting the experience. “Yeah. It felt… different than I thought it would.” 

“How so?” James tossed the washcloth and laid on his side next to him. 

“It looked different in those videos.” 

James snickered. “Porn is hardly a sample of real life.” 

“Well I know that now,” Sirius said, turning his head. They were close enough that James could see him clearly without his glasses, and he marveled in the flush that remained on Sirius’s face and how tender his lips look. “But why do they make it look that way if that’s not how it is?” 

As with most topics they discussed, James tried his best to explain, ending with Sirius only slightly less confused than he was at the start. 

“I still don’t get why they couldn’t make it more realistic,” he grumbled, snuggling up to James. 

“People don’t want to watch something that’s realistic. If they did, they would just go out and do it. Part of the appeal is how it’s close to what they know, but different enough to be interesting.” 

Sirius was silent for a while, making James think that the conversation was over, but then he admitted, “I think I like real life better. The human world isn’t how I thought it would be, and I’ve only been here for a few days, but this is…” he searched for a word to describe how he felt but could only settle for, “better. It feels real.” 

A part of James’s mind said that that’s because it  _ was _ real, but he knew what Sirius meant so he just held him close and breathed him in. Sirius drifted off to sleep like that, and James was in a half-asleep half-awake daze for what could’ve been a few hours but just as easily could have been twenty minutes when he suddenly realised-- he didn’t know when Sirius was leaving. They hadn’t talked dates at all and that meant he didn’t have a clue. He’d related it to a holiday, but some holidays were a month long and others were two days. Sirius had been here three days now, so it was obviously not a two day visit, but when would he leave?  _ Would _ he leave? James had offered to let him stay, and Sirius had said he would think about it, but now… now it felt different. 

Sirius was no longer the strange merman who beached on James’s property that he developed a crush on, he was a friend-- and a lover. James was panicking and trying to fight back the impulse to wake Sirius and ask him if their sleeping together changed anything. He slowly extricated himself from the bed and Sirius’s warm arms, feeling a little guilty for the small frown on his face as he adjusted to the change. 

James padded to the door after he threw on some clothes, easing it open and glancing at Sirius when it squeaked, but he remained peacefully asleep. He noticed once he was in the hall that he was wearing one of Sirius’s shirts (or rather one of the shirts that Sirius was using yet refused to claim as ‘his’). It didn’t matter, really, whose clothes he was wearing since they were the same size and they all technically belonged to James, but something about it seemed so very intimate that it scared him a little, at how easily he could imagine Sirius in his life. And he wasn’t even planning on staying in it. 

Oh, sure, Sirius had said he’d think about it, and James believed that he would, but why would he leave behind everything he knew? James? The thought was ridiculous and he shook his head as he made his way to the kitchen. He had learned many things during his relationship with Lily, one of which was that he didn’t have many desirable qualities. There was basically just money, properties, and his ability to acquire more. Lily hadn’t been overly impressed with any of those and he doubted Sirius would be when he had all of that for himself, just underwater. The more he thought about it, the more cemented the idea became in his head: Sirius wasn’t going to stay. 

He put the kettle on and pulled down a cup, mind quieting as he watched and waited for it to boil so he could pull it off before it squealed. By the time he was sat at the table, steaming cup warming his hands, he had passed panic and was resigned. Sirius would go back to the ocean and James would go back to Britain and this would become a pleasant interlude in his life-- the summer romance he’d never had before. 

“James?” He whipped his head around to see one very sleepy Sirius wheeling himself into the kitchen. “What are you doing up?” He reached the table and stopped, blearily rubbing one of his eyes. 

“I could ask you the same thing,” James said with a half smile he didn’t feel. 

“Looking for you,” Sirius answered, then looked at him expectantly, but he only shrugged. “I thought skipping out of bed in the morning was only something that happened in movies. It’s not precisely morning, but.” 

“I wasn’t skipping out,” James protested, but flushed with guilt regardless of his words. “I couldn’t sleep so I thought I’d drink some tea.” 

Sirius looked pointedly at his cup, and it took James a moment to look down and notice that he hadn’t drank any of it. He took a sip in an effort to save face, but it was just on the cold side of lukewarm. He sighed and pushed the cup away. 

“So?” 

James stared at the table as he said, “It probably wasn’t a good idea to have sex with you when you’re leaving.” He lifted his gaze. “When  _ are _ you leaving anyways? You’ve never said.” 

“Day after tomorrow,” Sirius answered, avoiding the implied query of whether or not he was staying. 

James felt frozen in his seat. “That soon?” he asked faintly. It had been a possibility, but, well, he hadn’t really thought that he’d be gone so quickly. 

“It’s part of the spell,” he said apologetically. “Like I said, this was just supposed to be a visit. There are spells for longer, and one to make it permanent of course, but I’d have to go back to use it.” 

“Oh. That- that makes sense.” James suddenly wanted to ask if he’d made a decision yet, despite his surety just a few minutes ago that Sirius would want to leave. He didn’t want to pressure Sirius, but he couldn’t deny that having a definite answer would be the best thing for his peace of mind. Some traitorous part of James remained convinced that Sirius might choose to come back, and he tried futilely to quash it. 

Sirius was studying him, tired and a little sad. “Are you coming back to bed?” 

“In a minute,” James lied, looking at the table. 

“Wrong.” James’s head snapped up, surprised at the conviction in Sirius’s voice. “You either are, or you aren’t, so which is it?” James opened his mouth, not knowing what he would say, and then ended up saying nothing. Sirius sighed, sounding defeated. “Did I ruin us by kissing you yesterday?” 

“What? No, of course not.” James didn’t know if he was lying or not, but Sirius clearly didn’t buy it so maybe it didn’t matter whether or not it was the truth. James sighed too, slumping in his chair. “You’re leaving. I’m getting attached, and you’re leaving. I just want to save myself some pain.” 

Sirius reached his hand out and took James’s. “I’m coming back. At least I want to, if your offer is still valid.” 

James looked at him, eyes wide in disbelief. Coming back? “Yes, of course,” he choked out, embarrassed for the tears he felt prickling. He must be more tired than he thought. 

“James? I, er, want to hug you, but I can’t really reach, would you--” 

He stood and threw his arms around Sirius. “Are you sure?” He felt Sirius nod, and he squeezed tighter, mindful of how easily Sirius bruised. Once he felt emotionally stable enough to let go, he did. “So,” he said wiping his face sheepishly, “bed?” 

Sirius grinned and they made their way back to their room.

* * *

James was stood on the beach, staring through his water flecked glasses for any sign of Sirius or his friend Remus. He’d watched Sirius transform back into a merperson yesterday, awed by the gleaming black scales that made up his tail. Sirius said that he preferred Remus’s honey and brown coloured one to his own, but also admitted that black made him think of his parents. James replied that he didn’t think something so beautiful could be on people so hideous and that Sirius’s must be different from theirs. Sirius had smiled and given him a quick kiss, promising to return the next afternoon. 

He tried sitting in the sand while he waited but was so agitated that he only managed it for thirty seconds before he stood again, pacing. Sirius hadn’t explained the magic to him nor where he needed to go since it’s not like James would understand. 

It took stepping on a particularly nefarious rock to get James to calm down enough to focus on the water again, and he found his heart leaping at every motion. After two hours of hopeful searching, he finally saw them: two distinctly human heads rising from the water, one black, the other light brown. They searched for a moment before finding the direction of the shore, then started swimming over. 

James helped them out of the water and handed them towels, followed by clothes that he’d had the forethought to bring in a bag with him. Sirius introduce him to Remus and they exchanged smiles. “You seem to know what you’re doing,” he noted. 

Remus glanced down at the shorts he was putting on, then back up at James. “I spent a lot of time on land when I was younger,” he explained. James could sense a long story behind it, but he let it go without remark. They were strangers, after all, though they didn’t remain that way for long. 

Remus didn’t seem to have any of the same issues on land that Sirius did, something that bothered Sirius, but they all adapted. James started looking for a new place in London that would be accessible to Sirius, finally finding one a few weeks before they left. It was overpriced and a little out of the way, but the look on Sirius’s face when he saw it was well worth the pounds. The three of them went out and bought new… everything. James didn’t want most of his possessions from before because not only were they impersonal but they reminded him of how miserable he’d felt while he used them. All of them had bad days now and then, but the other two were always there. 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm on tumblr [@siriuslystarbucks](http://siriuslystarbucks.tumblr.com/)


End file.
